anaroundtheworld

As incredible as it may sound, I'd like less sex in my TV shows please.

Incredible because us French are rarely against a little bit of full frontal. In fact I think the only time I wrote a comment in a forum was to defend the sex/rape in Game Of Throne because it was necessary to the story. I've read the first 50 shades, thought it was not as good as my usual erotica and laughed that they would have a Red Room of Pain but anal was out of the question :-)

But I've recently sat through all 12 episodes of the new Netflix serie: Sense8, and really started yearning for PG-Rated shows. Let's go back in time before I rant about this shit show.

Charlie's Angels: 1976 Family-style porn

Turns out in I Love Lucy in the 50's, the word "pregnant" could not be mentioned on TV and the married characters had to sleep in separate rooms. In 1976, TIME called Charlie's Angels a "family-style porn, a mild erotic fantasy that appeals about equally to men and women."

But in the time I can remember, the 1st shocking show, the one that started it all, was Sex and the City. These women liked sex, talking about it and sometimes doing it, they were extremely shocking. At that time their sex scenes where usually brief, in the dark, and you couldn't actually see a nipple, starting this devastating urban legend that you keep your bra for sex.

Then there was Dexter and the bad bad hero, Game of Throne and the incest, and certainly some gore zombie thing I did not watch introducing us to bloody innards. And they were successful. In fact they made HBO and Netflix and other original programming channels. The shock value of these TV Shows made them more real, more gripping, more of an emotional roller-coaster.

Unfortunately with Sense8 (yes we're coming to it), you see exactly the other side of the penny. They started with the shock and forgot the show. They had a great premise: A group of people around the world are suddenly linked mentally, and must find a way to survive, being hunted by those who see them as a thread to the wold order. I mean you could do something with at, at least for 1 season, particularly when directed by the Wachowski's.

Apparently they thought that was enough and started filling the blank with what seems to be success-recipe these days: Shock. Let's include all the things in there, that will make people talk about our show.

• Gay / Lesbian couple done: in The L Word (among others) Sense8 twist: One is actually a transsexual... Actually also already done in Transparent. Nice effort though...
• LGBT Sex done: in... I don't know, Brockeback ans everthing else since 2000 Sense8 twist: there is a close-up on a fluid-splashing strap-on dildo... Bon Apetit!
• Masturbation done: in Sex and the City Sense8 twist: Someone else is in the guy's mind and it's against a wooden door. It might be gratuitous, still don't want it.
• Gore done: even in the recent and classy Kingsman Sense8 twist: some trepanations

One scene I had forgotten about. Can't remember what that was for...

I realise my last post was somehow heated, I might have been rather p*** off and therefore maybe even angry.
So today we'll keep a neutral to happy tone:
AREN'T YOU HAPPY FOR KATE? WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE'LL WEAR?

NO that's just too much. But I WILL talk about Scream 4 and our new packs of cigarettes. For a few weeks now I've been visually assaulted by the new pictures on my Malboro's packs. My reactions have been contrasted.
There's the one with a needle which I had to ask my friends about to be sure it meant that this was an addictive product, almost like a drug. Which I do not find effective on long-time smokers like me because I feel it is too late now for me to start trying coke! (almost wrote cock there... no little red underline from the spellchecker! Useless!)
There's the one with a child breathing into a mask... you kinda wanna say... "Well why don't you pack a mask with the pack if you care so much about my kids!" (nota : I do not have kids please do not send DCFS to my home...)
There's the one with the 2 lungs... you know which one I am talking about... a classic but oh so effective!

There was a big debate in France about this "shock" pictures. Was it too much?
To anybody who's wondering if this is too much, you should go see scream 4 currently in a theater near you!

As you certainly know Scream was one of the 1st (if not the 1st) scary funny movie. The killer... (...s because YES! there were 2 of them!) got kicked in the balls, always a good one! At some point in Scream 4, which is actually a little more gore thant the previous ones (I can tell, we did a trilogy re-run the night before), poor Anthony Anderson (Deputy Perkins) get stabbed in the face. And I mean a foot-long blade between the eyes. NOT a pretty one!!! And I swear the audience (and I, I have to admit) laughed so hard as he just cried, got stabbed, and actually walked a bit with a giant knife planted in his skull, it almost turned into a collective nervous laugh of shame.

So I wonder, we just saw a pretty girl eviscerated, and laughed as a Police offcier getting stadbed in the forehead. How much can a picture of a needle scare us into giving up a year-long addiction?
You pass me the lighter and tell me.

Tonight I>Tele is proud to annouce they've managed to get the first interview of Barack Obama by French journalists.
Apparently they fought long and hard to convince him that I>Tele was the right medium for him.

I was thinking "This ought to be good, 24/7 news channel, they're going to talk politics and international issues, it's gonna be smart and no-nonsense as they don't have to appeal to the average 40 year-old housewife".

It started okay but then our dear Laurence Haïm started to go all teenager on us. It's seems what she was going for was:
- LH : Do you like France?
- BH (because he can) : I hate it and cheese gives me weird bowel movements

- LH: Did you learn French and can you tell us something in French?
- BH (Yes he did): I can say "wulè wou cucher avec moa ce soi" and I was looking forward to making a fool of myself before I travel to Middle East.

But somehow it didn't go as planned as (what a chock) Barack loves France, its food and wine, and no, he can't say anything in French as he learned it in high school and can't (and won't) remember a thing.

I am very sorry for Laurence but somehow it seems this fantastic opportunity turned into a not-so-fantastic interview, exept for her 'cause I think she's in luuuuuuuv.

So here we are, the NCCU IMBA International Dragon Boat Team 2007!!!

How does this work when you are not Asian? You just have a guy (in our case James) who says one day : "who wants to enrole for the Dragon Boat Race?". And you think that this is going to be a nice experience. I had seen a Dragon Boat Race on some HK movies and I wanted to try. I just take one precaution : "James, I am not paddling, I want to be the drummer!". And then he says "Yes Honey no Problem!" And I believed him!!!!

So then 4 weeks before the race we start organizing practice in the morning. 7AM on weekdays!!!
And I paddled to all the practice sessions have been to (I actually missed one). What was practice for? Having the same and correct paddle movement. And efficient also... it helps! And being SYNCHRONIZED. If one guy in the front row messes up, all the rows behind have to follow his false pace because otherwise the paddles collide. That is why you usually put the strong and synchronized people in the front rows so they give the example.


Had we read Wikipedia before, we would have known that they were called the "pacers" and that there was a certain angle we should have had when puting our paddle in the water and a certain elbow movement etc. Well has we hadn't, we just had to come up with that all by ourselves.


As I was the drummer I was in charge of setting the pace. And for practice we actually didn't have any drum, so it implied a lot of screaming. We thought that to make it a little less booring, we could count in French (Un, deux) whenever we were going casually to the starting line, count in German for the fast paced start (Eins, Zwei), and then back to English for the middle part of the race.
Screaming has never been so much a problem for me. But screaming and rowing at the same time was really tiring.

Xindian is the best spot for the Dragon Boat race in Taipei. The water of the river is clear. You can actually swim in it. Our poor colleagues from the Dutch team were rowing in the middle of polluted water and dead fishes. It is also not so serious. No very strict rules about the life jackets and all. It's just family casual. Restaurant a little bit up from the shore. A stage with non-stop spectacles from Dragon Dance to old-ladies dance.


So we arrived at 8:30AM to register. Our 1st race was at 9:20AM. I was kind of stressed because I had messed up the start at the last practice. We get in the boat...
Usaually only 12 people max. showed at the same time for practice. But on race day our boat was full... and unbalanced. God!!! 21 Western people on a Dragon Boat, that brings it very close from the water!!!
So here we go to the starting line. We were put in the wrong category as the administration couldn't see by our western that we were a mixed team, they put us in the men teams category... Niiiice.

And then the gun goes off!!!! And we row!!!! And we are not the last ones. Only 3 boat are per race. We were 2nd, and happy! We had never been so synchronized and efficient.

Then comes lunch and a lot of beers and poker. Our next race was at 2:50PM.

We get there for our 2nd race, confident, we know the drill. Get in the boat in orderly fashion. More to impress the other teams than becasue we really have to. Paddlers, steerer, drummer and flag catcher on the boat. We row backward to get away from the shore:
"Wait, wait, you lost your head!!!!"


The Dragon Head of the Boat is actually removable because we don't need it for practice. Ours stayed on the shore as we left. Was that a bad sign? We come back to take our head. G was not so sure anymore if she wanted to climb on it to catch the flag. We lost this race, our last one, but from what I've heard we'd never been so fast.

Than go some more beers, and tomorrow the finals races and closing ceremony.

We have a contest among my family and some of my brother’s friends. Who will be able to bring back the most Kitsch picture from his trip?
As I couldn’t find the translation in English for kitsch, let me translate our definition: Tacky, provocatively exhibiting bad taste. I might add: therefore funny.

Up to this summer, my family hold the record with a picture of my father holding the Taj-Mahal with his two fingers and smiling this way: “I am so happy to be halfwitted”. Apparently some friends tried to do the same looking just a little bit more stupid.

The guy who I think should win this contest didn’t actually know there was one, that’s the beauty of it. My friend E. has gone to India for an exchange student program and was so happy and proud when displaying this fantastic picture. Of course I forwarded it instantly to my brother to let the world know we had a winner.

What makes this picture so good for us? You might have noticed the Taj-Mahal is THE best spot for kitsch pictures. So we were all playing “I’m holding it with 2 fingers”, “I smile like a dumb guy”… Etc. E. found out that what would make the difference at the Taj-Mahal was not how you were holding it but actually what you were wearing. Thank you E. for this fantastic Green & Pink striped T-Shirt, it allowed me to have the opportunity of claiming a finder’s fee.

Note: I wrote this post as I thought only my brother and E. had this address. I mean how could anybody find my blog, I am not advertising. Then I received a comment from Melissa. 2 questions then:
1) How come a girl from Australia finds me and leaves me a very nice post as my brother and my friend E. _ to whom I gave the blog’s address on my first day on-line_ didn’t even come and see?
2) The blog being visited _ apparently _ should I cancel this post and spare my friend shame-on-line?
As you can see I decided to half-spare him. I thought with this T-shirt he really didn’t need icing!